Thinking about how my seizures have affected my dating life is important to me because it’s something I’ve had to deal with personally. I’ve had to tell people I’m dating that I’ve had seizures, which has sometimes been a difficult process. Here’s my advice:

What kinds of questions will my partner have about epilepsy and seizures?

It can even be hard trying to explain to your partner what seizures are, what happens when you have a seizure, or even what to do if you’re intimate and you have a seizure. Some odd or difficult questions your partner could ask you could include: “Do you have brain damage?” “Do you have seizures when you have sex?” “Do you make yourself seize?” “What are seizures?” “What brings them on?”. All of these questions can be overwhelming. But, have no fear – your partner is just curious. And sometimes, that’s a good thing; they just want to know more about you and what you’re going through.

How should I respond to questions about epilepsy and seizures?

Respond honestly and respectfully. Your partner is just curious about epilepsy and they want to know what you’re going through. Remember how clueless and scared you were when you first got diagnosed? Remember that they are going through the same thing and starting from square one. Give them time and answer their questions the best that you can.

How will my partner react when I tell them?

Besides the questions, your partner could react to hearing that you have seizures in many ways. Sometimes your partner might not understand or might get scared. Sometimes seizures won’t affect your relationship at all. It sucks if you have a partner that doesn’t get it, but that just means there’s someone else out there for you who will be understanding. Remember, you deserve a partner who wants to date you even if you have seizures. It’s okay for them to be freaked out at first, but if they don’t want to date you because you have them, they aren’t worth it.

When should I tell my partner that I have seizures?

Sometimes it’s good to just come out and tell your partner right away you so will know how it will affect your future and your relationship. It’s good to just say you have seizures at first, so your partner will know everything about your seizures and what to do in case you have one rather than not knowing what to do and freaking out when/if you do have one. It may be difficult to tell your partner about your seizures. And that’s ok, but the more open and honest you are, the more prepared your partner will feel about what to do in case of an emergency. That way you have both seizures and dating done well!